Flowers in the Heart

The Tiptons played our last gig at the Icehouse in Minneapolis on Thursday.  All week I have been contemplating the words a friend gave me, “Weeds grow in my head and the flowers grow in my heart.”

I have spent many years training my body, and teaching my mind to play saxophone. Trying to become the best musician I could be, to play my part correct and to play ‘good’ solo’s. This mindset however, left me in my head, ignoring the flowers that grow in my heart. At the beginning of this past tour, I choose to focus on the flowers in my heart, rather than the weeds in my head. And I found myself having a wonderful experience.

By the last show, I was tired and didn’t have much juice in me. I needed some extra help so I went the the restroom and said a short prayer in my heart asking that God would help me to play in a way that would bring joy to the audience, that I would be able to to share joy and lift them up.

As soon as we stared to play, God filled me with joy and understanding that I have to be filled with joy in order to give it. I have to have FUN! I was also aware of the importance of being in good practice, to  be comfortable in my abilities to play my instrument. It’s only fun when it’s easy.

When it came time to take my first solo, I felt focus and energy in my heart, not my head. I was opened and filled with the intent to lift up and give of my love. New musical ideas came, my ears opened, and I was able to give to the audience and receive inspiration in the same moment. I felt directed and calm, peaceful and sure. I was not attached to how ‘good’ I sounded, or if I played the latest lick I have been practicing in all 12 keys. I played for the people in the room, with love and inspiration from God.

My band mate Sue later commented on the difference of my playing and how things seemed to click in and I sounded better.  I admitted I had nothing to do with it, but it was an answer to prayer.

It’s not that I am better, it just that I had more help. Thank you God.

So today, will again I look at the flowers in my heart and not the weeds in my head.